I was about ready to scream.
So much needed to be let out and so much needed to stay in, so I wound up just sitting in the back of the classroom acting like my usual self, not allowing anyone in. It made me feel so heavy but I guess that's good. I haven't been feeling much of anything lately which may or may not have anything to do with these conflicting emotions.
I smirked lightly and began to think about how exactly I'm going to deal with all of this. I mean
I wound up all alone because of some stupid destiny and now I'm back and
there's no one here who waited. No one here remembers the little brown haired boy whose rival was Riku. Everyone just forgot about me and I'm not exactly in the mood to remind them.
My old crush forgot about me, my best friend, and the guys I always trained and played with
the girl who used to always tell me her romantic fantasies
they all forgot about me. It hurts to admit it but it's true. Kairi, Riku, Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie all forgot about me while I was out fighting in the war. We spent four years of our lives with each other and they just forgot.
College is so much easier than high school. No one's constantly making judgments and there aren't enough stereotypes to keep you busy with shit that doesn't matter. I'm just focusing on getting out and being done while also trying to forget the things I learned about on the field. It's funny though
I didn't think I'd see them all here for one reason or another. Kairi is trying to be a nurse; Riku a doctor, Tidus is going all out in Blitz with Wakka who also wants to be coach. Selphie is trying to get her teaching degree.
Everyone is moving on with their lives and here I am taking the basic classes you need to get over with in order to major in anything. I don't know what I want to do with my life.
When class ended I headed out onto the campus grounds and sat down on a bench while watching people walking past while talking to friends or just students running to class. To my surprise I noticed a girl with brown hair fumbling with her things while trying to hurry at the same time. It wasn't surprising at all when everything fell to the ground causing me to get up and help her just as another boy did.
"Olette you need to be more careful about this stuff." The blond laughed at his friend while she blushed in embarrassment and nodded while setting down her bag so we could put it in there. "I'm Hayner, thanks for helping this clutz out." He teased her while finishing it up. I stood up along with them and smiled with a nod.
"My name is Sora." I informed him and her both. They both nodded at the same time and even held out their hands at the same time. The two exchanged glances then laughed letting me know that they've known each other for a long time. It must be nice.
"Nice to meet you Sora. My name is Olette." She grinned and shook my hand while Hayner patted my shoulder. For the first time in a while I felt something inside of me and it was warm. The guy is kind of
cute. Olette is too but
I think I like him. I've always known I might swing that way but this is the first time I've really considered playing for the other team.
"I've got to go to psychology now! It's not a class I need but it's a lot of fun." She blushed lightly and smiled. "I'll see you boys later!" Olette called then ran ahead to make sure to make it in time to class. Hayner shook his head as he watched her go then turned to me with a smirk on his face.
"Are you hungry?" He asked making me nod without even thinking. This would be the first time I've ever gone out with anyone since I got back. I'm not even talking about dating. I just couldn't bring myself to do it no matter what it was or who it was with. I swear I made my mother cry.
When we got to Panda express I ordered my food and watched the boy pack it on his plate. I remember when I used to eat like him. I've always been small and it looks like he is too. I'm 5'5 and it doesn't seem like he's taller than me. When we sat down I found out that he wants to be a police officer and is taking some courses in law and subjects about criminals and types of crime. I found myself listening to him in awe.
The person who inspired him was this asshole in his home town who would bully him and his friends but the guy kept ruffians out of town and even beat up criminals and destroyed gangs. It really inspired him to do something as well about such a thing. It's amazing really and I wish I could do something like that! All I ever did was fight in a war I had no business being in while watching the people around me die.
"What do you want to do?" He asked me in return as he took a sip of his coke. I looked at him and smiled softly while and then glanced out the window at the blue sky as clouds slowly rolled past. I smiled softly then and leaned forward. Before he could stop me I kissed his cheek.
"Thanks to you I think I know what I want to do now." I said softly with a dreamy look on my face. He blushed and then looked at me curiously. "I want to be a therapist."
This way I can help people
at the very least with my perfectly pointless existence I'm going to help someone. If I can help at least one person in this world, and make it so that they can smile again then I know I've done good.
Then I know my existence was worth it.